It’s your party, you can cry if you want to. Cry if you want to. Cry if you want to. Or as Tina Gilbertson says in her new book CONSTRUCTIVE WALLOWING, “Even if the feelings are hard, it’s easier to feel them than to pretend they’re not there.” The goal of the whole book: feeling is healing.
“Think about a difference it could make in your life if you only had to deal with each feeling once instead of over and over again,” writes Gilbertson. And it’s true. Instead of pushing the feeling away, suppressing it, or covering it up, just deal with it. Wallowing is allowing. “Once I could accept my feelings as they were, they changed.”
The big pull of this book is Gilbertson’s TRUTH acronym that helps you establish a constructive wallowing process. I’ll give it away here, but you have to read the book for the full meaning and explanation:
T – Tell yourself the situation
R – Realize what you’re feeling
U – Uncover self-criticism
T – Try to understand yourself
H – Have the feeling
You may see wallowing as acceptance of the negative, but Gilbertson writes, “If you are serious about not being negative, don’t negate your own feelings.” Much like Tolle writes in my favorite book on feelings, Gilbertson echoes those sentiments with: “feelings are neither positive nor negative. They’re just feelings.”
I feel there are a couple of incongruent items in this book. Gilbertson says to explore your emotions and put a label on them (list of emotion names on page 62). This doesn’t jive with the strategy above about being positive or negative. She also allows bringing up past feelings as much as needed. This doesn’t concur with present-mindedness or feeling the emotion of the moment.
The whole of CONSTRUCTIVE WALLOWING stands upon solid advice that will help conquer the hurdles of emotion by dealing with them head-on.
Thanks to Viva Editions for sending this book to me for review.
You can find this book’s preview and other reviews here: Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them